Are we putting pressure and stress on our loved ones without realizing we are, and, are we using them to unload all our emotional baggage…

Are we putting pressure and stress on our loved ones without realizing we are, and, are we using them to unload all our emotional baggage…

It’s a fact that we as people cannot be close to too many other people and open our hearts and souls to everyone and anyone, each of us will have a intense relationship with very few close set of individuals who match our sensibility and have similar thinking, and this group will include our family, our best friends and close group of friends.

Now this close group of people as much as we are open and honest with them we also sometimes take them for granted, somewhere in our hearts and minds we start to think we have right over them to just say anything we want and get away with it.

A recent incident in my life where I was being too demanding with a person’s time and attention and  did not realize how much it was affecting that person. We sometimes become so one dimensional towards these close set of people and not be aware of it, we most often expect lots of attention and love from this group that we forget to give and we forget to empathize with the situation that person is in.

But this act at least for me was not intentional and I was not aware that I was adding so much stress on this individual unless and until that person actually told me so and that’s when I took a step back and started to think and empathize and realized how selfish I was with my demands, be it for time, love or attention.

This can happen with our spouse, with our parents, with our siblings and friends, we always expect the other to give the attention, the love and time and never ever think if we are adding any unnecessary stress on them  with our unjustified demands and are we really failing to  empathize with their situation ?

This was when I again went into my thinking and reflection mode and decided that from then onwards I would not take anything for granted with these close set of people in my life, I will ensure before I demand their time or attention I would really try to understand the state they are in, are they in a state to give me what I want or are they in a state where they need the same from me and this understanding helps me to protect the relationship from falling apart.

I have also realized that even though these are your close or core group of people in life it may not be ideal to unload all our emotional baggage’s, we can’t always complain and keep telling our sob stories to them when they themselves might be going through a lot in their lives, but this is also not to say we should not, we definitely should share what we feel with this core group but we need to ensure we are  choosing the right time and when that individual is in the right frame of mind to listen and support as required.

Time is the key we need to learn to be patient with this close group of people as they are too precious to lose so before we demand or unload our agony we need to take a step back and make sure that person is not going through some sort of agony themselves or are not loaded with other things that are priority.

Patience is key and being aware of our loved ones situation and circumstance is key to have a lasting and beautiful relationship, We need to be in a relationship to give and give and that strengthens the bond and fills the relationship with lots of good memories and happiness and something you look forward to day in and day out  rather than getting into a mode of accusing and heartaches !