Emotional Numbness

As I grow and years pass by what I have released is there is a strange kind of emotional numbness that sets in for every negative phase or event I go through.. Be it people disappointing me, Be it a situation not working in my favor or anything else which is out of my control.

I recollect my college days or early corporate life when I was brimming with so much energy and passion for what I was doing that every single thing used to affect me a great deal, it used to wreck my day and I used to be on emotional turmoil. But as years are passing by I am sensing a shift towards a strange sense of numbness towards people, situations or big tragic events.. Is it because I have grown and matured as a person or just that I am so used to repeated disappointments that somewhere the soul accepts the reality and anticipates such happening over and over again and yet remain untouched, may be a kind of self defense !!

Whatever the reason is I must admit I love this feeling.. a feeling where you don’t feel any particular emotions of happy, sad, anger, anxiety  towards the person who hurt or a situation, I just let it sit still, I analyze what I contributed to the situation or how I behaved with that person who hurt and if I feel my intent was positive and I did everything I could to improve the situation I feel at peace and I let the other things go.. As a human I cannot control the entire situation, I can only control how I conduct myself or How I react to a situation and as long as in my  inner core I feel I was true and honest and did everything I could with a positive intent then I will let it go, it’s a forgive and forget & move on moment !!

At the end of the day we all want to feel inner peace and a stillness which can wither the external chaos and turmoil and this can come about only if we are willing to forgive ourselves for all the misjudgments we make, we are willing to say it’s ok better luck next time and move on and give ourselves a pat on the back for all the hard work we put in to make things work around us and to enrich lives of those that are around us or dependent on us.

So for me emotional numbness is a great way to deal with issues and resolve and move on without your inner core being affected and wrecked !!