Free yourself of the responsibility of trying to make other people happy. Respect and love them enough to allow them to take care of their own happiness.

All my life I have always strived hard to please people around me and make them happy all the time and esp., when it comes to loved ones I have always put their needs and desires before mine and ensured they are happy with what I did for them even if it’s at the cost of me not enjoying the whole process.

Over the course of years I have come to realize doing this is such a emotionally draining task, if we are constantly trying to make people happy then there is no end to it, we will need to keep on doing things to consistently keep up with their expectations and this can be quite daunting.

A good friend of mine told me, it’s time to stop living for others, try living for yourself once!! Although at the time I heard this it did not feel like a big change in the way I was living, all I need to do is to do stuff which makes me happy and it will be fine but when it came to actually executing the same I was faced with innumerable challenges, I could feel more and more people being disappointed with me and distancing themselves from me and all of a sudden I was left with very very few friends and family members.

I was beginning to wonder what happened to all those days when I was relentlessly trying to keep them happy, have they conveniently forgotten those days? Is there something called as a return gesture or even if there is no return gesture is there something called as understanding and let a person be however they want for some time? Well thinking about these things are truly emotionally very draining and in a way you also get to know who are the people who really stand by you and who LOVE you for what you ARE and not for what you DO !!

Having started my spiritual journey and quest for deeper meaning in life I came across a article which mentioned “ Free yourself of the responsibility of trying to make other people happy, respect and love them enough to allow them to take care of their own happiness “ and this make a lot of sense to me.. How wonderful would it be if we can love a person for what they are and not build up any expectations or assume responsibility of their happiness, it’s takes so much pressure off you.

I just need to ensure my loved ones realize I will stand by them no matter what the circumstance is and do away with trying to keep them happy consistently... Happiness is a state of mind, I have started to come to believe no one can make anyone happy unless that person decides to be happy and in this case no matter how much I try I cannot make anyone happy so why assume that responsibility?

My dad always says, it’s not worth losing your happiness for anyone and I used to think this was very selfish of him to say such a thing but as I get older I realize where he is coming from, it’s nearly impossible to please all of them all the time, we do need to respect and love them and ensure we guide and seek guidance from our close family and friends but let go of the mission to make everyone happy, its only when I am truly happy with myself I can spread happiness around me and by spreading happiness I don’t  mean I am trying to make them happy but just emitting a positive vibe to people around me and hoping that vibe will pass on.

I have seen many great people who by their mere presence can emit a “Happy Vibe” which is truly a great thing and I have also seen many who carry such negative vibe that they immediately pull you down and I definitely want to be counted among the former group.

Learning this art of balance is not going to be easy but it’s important for me to know how to balance so that at 60 or 70 I don’t end up thinking where did my life pass by and what did I do that truly made me happy ? I am going to introspect on finding the things that make me happy and I am going to spend my time and energy on those than on making people happy who truly don’t value it anyways!!!

So it’s starting now, it’s starting today, Love and respect people, but don’t own their happiness it is something every individual need to own and not depend on other nor expect anyone else to get it for them!!